Friday, October 28, 2011

Losing...time, my mind, who knows what else

I am not the teacher I want to be, or genuinely believe I can be, right now. I have had either meetings or duty four mornings this week. That means that from the time my contract day begins until lunch three and a half hours later I am either in a meeting or with my first graders. Lunch translates to about fifteen minutes of time for myself most days (once I get the kids mostly through the line and do any other essentials like copying or handling an issue with another teacher or administrator). Of the four days that my students have specials (P.E., music, art) I have had meetings during two of those times and missed that time completely today because P.E. was canceled for upper grade field day.

I don't mean to sound whiny, although I know I do. I just realized this afternoon that one result of this is that I do not give as much to my students as I should. I don't pull small groups or meet individually or check in with them as they work the way I should. I spend some time holding back and just surveying the room rather than digging in. I just don't have the energy to do it.

Something has to give and right now my students are the ones losing out. That's not right and I have to figure out how to fix it.

7 comments:

Jill Fisch said...

Wow! I think we both had the same kind of week this week. I even sat down to write a similar blog post but found that I just didn't have the energy. I can totally relate to your feelings. I, too, had to really push myself today so that I wouldn't just stand back and observe. It can all just be so overwhelming sometimes. Hope next week is better for both of us.

Kassia said...

I understand this feeling. I was feeling this way this week. And my kids were nuts. I'm trying to refocus to be in the moment, focus more on their social/emotional/community learning and doing the best I can. Not easy. Hang in there. You can do it. Your kids are lucky to have you. You love them. You work hard for them. You care about helping them be good people. I've never met you and I can tell all of this about you.

Angel Read said...

Anyone who believes teachers have an easy job snd work six hours a day with tons of breaks and free time, should read this post!

Sarah said...

I am SOOOOO there right now to! I feel so guilty that my students are losing out on the best of me because of all my other responsibilities!

firstgradeforever said...

I second what everyone else said!! My firsties are also still working on being independent during reading and writing time and it is almost November! Where has the time gone?

Jenny said...

I don't know if it makes me feel better to know that I am not alone in this or not. It helps to not feel alone but it is painful to realize we're all in this rough boat. Good luck.

Snippety Gibbet said...

I know what you mean. I have far less time for preparation and planning this year than ever before in my career. Oddly enough, I've never seen student artwork so horribly lacking in my entire career either.