Thanks to some tweets from Laura Komos while she was at
ASCD’s annual conference I was introduced to Bob Sornson. Laura was clearly
quite impressed by him and her tweets made me want to read his work.
Although I finished the book a few weeks ago one idea is sticking with me.
Sornson writes about nine skills in the book. The one that seems to me to be
the most critical is “using empathy.” In many ways, I believe everything else
can fall into place if a teacher is using empathy.
I am amazed at how often I find myself getting annoyed at a
child because he or she is doing something again.
In my mind that child is deliberately trying to drive me crazy. I think, “I
know that child knows better. I know that child could stop that.”
I should know
better. I need to stop that.
I have watched my oldest daughter hum or sing while she
brushes her teeth, does her homework, rides her bike, makes dinner, eats
breakfast, etc. The great majority of the time she has no idea she is humming
or singing. She is not trying to drive me crazy.
Isn't that likely to be true about my students as well?
That little boy chewing on his sleeve. Isn't it likely he doesn't even realize he’s doing that? The little girl spinning down the
hallway. Isn't it likely she isn't aware of what she’s doing?
That’s not to say I won’t stop the boy from chewing on his
sleeve (I know his parents will appreciate my doing so) or the girl from
spinning down the hallway (we do need to avoid the kindergartners walking our
way). But a little bit of empathy from me means I can address these children
with gentle reminders rather than stern admonitions. And which option is more
likely to serve us well in the long term?
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