As a parent I'm pretty good, but far from perfect, at pausing with my daughters. By this I mean waiting rather than gut responding to them, be it to their questions, comments, or actions. This allows me to quickly reflect on my response options and the effects of them. If one girl is bugging the other, I try to step back and fully assess the situation and weigh the possible responses. When one makes a comment that sounds rude to me, I attempt to take their perspective to determine if the comment is rude given their knowledge and experiences. Then I can better address the issue.
I'm not very good at this as a teacher. Is it because I don't trust my students as much as I trust my daughters? Is it because I feel the push of time in the classroom more than I do as a parent?
Many of the mistakes I believe I make in the classroom stem from this problem. If I were better able to pause with my students I would be able to respond to them in ways that would be respectful and would encourage the behaviors I want to see.
This will be one of my goals for this coming school year. I'm not yet sure how to go about it, but this seems like step one.