Friday, October 19, 2012

Library Goddess Emails

Background information:

  • Our librarian is the greatest in the world. 
  • Classrooms all have blue crates for collecting returned library books.
  • What follows is the text from emails sent by our librarian to the rest of the school. I found them brilliant and hilarious and felt a need to share.
  • Clearly she is inspired by literature, show tunes, and more.

I have spies
And they tell me there are books in your blue crate.
Are you hording them? Selling them on the black market? Using them as ransom for library pockets? These are just some of the options I have considered.

Happy Hour in the Library
This is for books only. Please do not be a spoil sport and not let your books come.

Blue crate all call
It is a blue crate party. Don't be the meanie, let your blue crate join in the glitter, cupcakes, and soda.

Running on empty (blue crates)
Looking out at the books resting under my crate
Looking back at the stories gone by like so many ice cream cones
In 3 hours, it will be noon and I will be running reports
I don't know what I am reading now, I'm just reading on.
(This means return your blue crates because I am running reports at noon.)

Peer Pressure
Return your blue crates, everyone is doing it.
Also, I am running overdue notices at noon for students. Prevent heartache! Prevent unneeded stress! Return blue crates.

library open
Cries me with silent lips, "Give me your baskets, your books, your huddled masses yearning to read today...The lamp is lit next to the library door."

Things that are welcomed in the library and the opposite
1. Blue crates with books
2. Students in groups of 3 to check out books
3. Cupcakes
And the opposite:
1. Empty blue crates
2. Ants in any group size
3. Zucchini

Multiple Choice Question
If the day's testing is over in the library, then I should
a. Stash my books in a fallout shelter for the Next Big Day
b. Give my books to the wild animals in the park
c. Return blue crates of books to the library
d. Sing songs about books in the library

Status Update
Library: Still Messy
Accepting Now: Blue Crates
Accepting After Noon: Students for checkouts who know how to spell their last name.

Mountain of blue crates
Let's see if we can create one this morning with all your book returns.

This is Just to Say
I have read
The books
That were in
The blue crate

And which
You were probably
For later

Forgive me
They need to be returned
So soon
And so today

Thanks WCW!

It's Raining Blue Crates
Reading level is rising - Shelves getting low
According to all sources, the library's the place to go
Cause today for the first day
Just about half-past ten
For the first time in history
It's gonna start raining blue crates.

The overdue notices are running at 10 this morning.
Get ready by:
     - Making signs to cheer the notices on
     - Set up water stations around the school
     - Return your blue crates by 10

There's something due any day
I will know right away
Soon as it shows

Blue crates come canonballin' down through the sky
Gleam on the spines
Hot as a trend

Please send

The air is hummin'
Blue crates commin'

Please send,
They're only just out of reach,
Down the hall, while you teach

Maybe right now?
Maybe right now?

Maybe right now!

(Brownie points if you can guess the song.)


PamelaTrounstine said...

How can you NOT want to return your blue crates to a librarian writing funny alternatives to Something's Coming!

Jenny said...

Pamela, No kidding! I love getting these emails from her.

Beth Newman said...

I love her and want to steal her for my school!