It's not the kids. It's totally me. It seems like recognizing that is a first step. That's possible. If so, I am completely unable to get past that first step.
The worst part is that this is a vicious cycle. I'm cranky with the students when they don't deserve it (I'm not sure first graders ever deserve it) so the kids act up in response which results in me getting crankier.
I've got lots of excuses but not one that makes my behavior okay.
I think I might need a behavior modification plan for myself. Something that tracks my crankiness and rewards me for doing what's right. Maybe one of my fabulous colleagues will help me design and implement something. At this point it seems clear that I can't shake this off on my own.
I understand the vicious cycle thing completely. I sometimes arrive at school thinking, "I am going to be more patient than ever with the kids today!" and then within the first 5 minutes, when I realize that 60% of them have not done the homework, I'm cranky, and it just ramps up for the rest of the day...
That's how I felt yesterday. Luckily I was able to control itmfor the most part. That's what end of the year stress does. What should be a fun time is a big ole stress ball of craziness.
Mister Teacher, that sounds about right. I start off with grand plans and they fall apart within the first ten minutes.
Kristen, 'big ole stress ball of craziness' completely describes how I'm feeling.
I was just telling a co-worker that this is the time of year when I need lots MORE patience... and it's exactly the time I don't have it.
Shake something up, in whatever way you can! You can make it to the end of the year!
Jenny, it's reassuring to know that others feel the same way. Shaking it up is good advice. Thanks!
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